i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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