is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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