I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
