On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
