u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So vagazzling was a success
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
