Yo dont text me then not text me
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
