so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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