im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
