Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
