What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
