Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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