I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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