I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
we're making bets on your personal life
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
