real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
