a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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