Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Acid is not a monday night drug
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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