i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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