well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
