i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
