I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
