I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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