idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
