went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
