Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
