I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
