we have pet lesbian snakes
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
