I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
