my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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