It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
The convent might be a nice break from real life
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
