I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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