i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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