New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize