i was born a porn star she said
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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