home. puking in laundry basket.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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