Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
