So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
