how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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