I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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