This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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