If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
