People in love make me want to vomit
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
