I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
