But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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