I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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