I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
