the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
