How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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