if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
