Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So much rum. So many feels.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
