these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
