People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
